Digg.com Implodes
July 26th 6:24pm CST
At roughly 6:30pm today, the internationally known website Digg.com imploded. (Seriously it did.) The combination of such a large amount of sub-standard keywords and all-knowing users in such a small space
caused Digg.com to implode. This is believed to have been caused by what we scientists like to call "critical mass-ness." Digg reached this "critical mass-ness" today, imploded upon itself, then exploded again
forming an alternate universe tentatively called the "Diggverse."
The Diggverse is largely unknown, as of this time, but we believe it sucked in all of Digg's users and articles when it formed. We can only guess
at the complexities of the new Diggverse. So far, it is believed that "Digg" is the basic form of life, spontaneously forming with a value of "1". (It is unknown how "Diggs" came to be, but an insider told us that it was most likely a Flying Spaghetti Monster.) After the Digg is formed, god-like creatures known simply as "Users" poke (we hear it makes a clicking noise when they do this) the Digg and cause its value to increase with a cool little animation.
It is a extraordinarily complex evolutionary process where only the best and most sensational survive. Even with success, "Diggs" are doomed to failure, falling from grace as newer and more advanced "Diggs" arrive due to the "Users" horrible and unscrupulous poking of the poor and pitiful "Diggs".
Seen below is a timeline of the events leading up to and after the creation of the "Diggverse":
Above we see a photograph, taken by the Hubbl-ey telescope, of Digg.com shortly after its implosion. Note the Digg logo and user avatars are scattered on the surface of the ultradense object. The object was soon christened by astrologists, who called it "DiggA3490290.34.66577.3094658" or, as we understand, referred to lovingly by the nickname "Sir Diggs a Lot's Ball".
Here we see a photograph at the moment of explosion. Digg.com became so dense it blew up. Digg blow up big. As one scientist more eloquently put it, "Digg go boom!!11"
Finally we see an artists conceptualization of the Diggverse. We may never know what really goes on in the alternate Diggverse, but our team of scientists do confirm that the word "poke" with little asterisks around it, appears whenever a "User" harasses a "Digg."
In our universe, world order has broken down, and because the formation of the Diggverse blew up the Sun, we're all Digged (hip young-people talk for dooooooomed!!11). For a press kit covering the end of the world, please contact Kevin C. at kcas88@gmail.com
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